Elders?

[mdehners]

Ever so often you’ll see a thread online about the subject. “Where ARE our Elders?”. As someone who has been part of Cybergard since the days when alt.pagen was the only “show in town”, I can answer the top 2 reasons.
1: Converted out.
Many of us became part of the alt.rel community in our teens and twenties. Many of the things that may have attracted you to your present Way then no longer do as you get in your 30’s, 40’s and older. Unfortunately, many never fully worked through their childhood religion issues and instead of looking for an alt.rel that would they just return to their previous Faith OR Convert to other more “conventional” religions. I know quite a few Buddhists that began in our community;>.

2: Withdrew.
I’ve personally done this a couple of times in the last two decades. You get tired of the squabbling in general, the disrespect to you personally and sadly, a heckovalot of shallow people who think this is a LARP. You 1st withdraw to closed groups/lists/etc. and then just a close group of friends….usually of the same Way as yourself.

The Truth is, I’ve yet to run into an online community that respects those who have put in a couple of decades on their particular Path, no matter the lip service. Many online communities have a high “tween” and under population(less than a decade and a half in), just the place you’d think those with more experience would be needed and welcomed. Sadly, not. For me, I PERSONALLY get tired of being put down because I don’t know the web source for something I learned 3 decades ago from a college Mythology text(which is where most of the CR and Nordic Folk looked for theirs). Not everything has a “wiki” and not all of that is ACCURATE.
I Honestly don’t know what can be done. In the last few yrs pretty much everyone I’ve known online more than a decade has withdrawn or Converted and a chitload of those over 5. And on some forums just posting this will invite “featherburn”…..
Cheers,
Pat

Comments

[ex_moondancer561]

Burnout is, IME, the biggest factor. I've spent most of my life as a Pagan, now pushing 60; raised three kids, held down jobs (until I retired on medical disability) - those things aren't different for any religious path, so the "Increasing responsibilities elsewhere" definitely varies for me - that's a matter of time management and priorities, just as it should be for anyone.

Aside from burnout, the Pagan communities as a whole have a tendency to not only eat their young, but to eat their elders as well; this contributes a lot towards the burnout factor.

Communications styles and methods have certainly changed. Whereas 20 years ago we waited anxiously for days in anticipation of a response to an online posting on a BBS, or in the decades previous to that, weeks for a letter in the post, many seem to insist on instant gratification, within seconds at the latest.

The social & emotional support networks offered in other religions can also certainly play a role. I've a dear friend, who has been in the Craft almost as long as I, who vacillated between it and the LDS Church for a couple of decades, because the LDS could help her when she was in dire straits and the pagan community couldn't/wouldn't. This, however, is something that is beginning to change (see several posts at The Wild Hunt for examples.)

And yes, population density also contributes; living in a rural area myself, I'm well-acquainted with that! (Spent 20 years living in the Seattle area, and before that Southern California.)

Back to the OP for a moment, in closing - there are a few - very few - online communities that are functional, even on Facebook. Finding them is the challenge, as many of them are invitation only groups, i.e. you need to know someone in it to get it. That's also part of the problem, though, especially for those who may be isolated from others physically and not know folks online to that degree.

[jenett]

On the increasing responsibilities elsewhere, to clarify - it's not that people drop everything. But if you were active on 3 or 4 or 5 different online spaces, and maybe a couple of face to face projects (of varying degrees of time commitment) and then you have health issues, or you hit the stage where you have kids who need to be driven to their own activities, or you have elderly parents who need more regular visits and time - well, you're probably not going to drop *every* place you were active.

But you might drop a couple that are lower priority.

If it's just one person doing that, that isn't a big deal. But in aggregate, especially in places which had, for whatever reason, a group of people in roughly the same life stage, a number of core posters doing so within a time span (six months, a year) can radically change the dynamics of the discussion or organisation, even if every single one of them had excellent reason for it, and even if the group still has a lot of good stuff in it. Some discussion spaces recover from that, or route around it, without any problems. But a bunch don't.

[mdehners]

We're basically in the same boat(well, except for the kids;>).One thing that "Today's Generation";> oft seems to forget is that Responsibility goes both ways, as does RESPECT. Even on the subject of Teaching. Your students many times forget that you aren't some program there for their convenience. I stopped taking students about a decade over this. If I can take my precious time to help you, you should at least show up....
Cheers,
Pat